Sunday Summary: Ben Hope and Music
This week is a very personal blog as I reflect on the challenges and strengths of the week, rather than art, following an operation and the need to prioritise my health and disability.
Kyle of Tongue Looking over to Ben Hope
For those of you that have read my blog from the start, or gone back to read previous posts, you will know that music, as well as art ,is an important aspect of my creativity.
I often describe my visual creativity, art and photographs, as the expression of my physical reality, whereas music is reserved more for my emotional experiences.
Since about 2020 I have been suffering from chronic infections due to my disability which is having significant impact on my physical wellbeing. Chronic infections have lead to chronic pain and chronic oedema. Seeing the visual impact on my body can be very difficult to process, particularly when your mind is so able. However I feel about the way I look, it is nothing compared to how I feel about the impact from doctors and specialists trying, and at times failing, to understand what my very complicated and unique disability is doing to me.
This week there has been no art produced. Simply, I have not had the capacity and instead focused on music. Following a failed procedure in May, I was in hospital on Friday for a second attempt. Although they tried twice on Friday, the specialists were not able to perform the procedure again and when I woke up from the general anaesthetic, there was lots of medical professionals running around concerned about my heart rate and breathing. It was fair to say that it was a difficult, long, and weary day. I hope you can therefore forgive me for the lack of artistic outputs this week.
A third procedure this summer has been scheduled, and while I wait and prepare for that, I remain determined to carry on; work, art, business, caring for my loved ones, and having fun.
With everything going on, one can’t help but reflect on places that one draws strength from. One of my favourite places in the entire world is a rather remote mountain in the far northwest of Scotland. It stands proud in the landscape; defiant of the harsh weather that batters it all year round. Its name is Ben Hope. The mountain is often captured by myself, either from the approach to the mountain itself, or like the picture for this blog, on the Kyle of Tongue where it sits opposite another stunning mountain called Ben Loyal. Together they remind me that there is always hope, and that I am blessed to be supported by the most amazing and loyal of family, and particularly friends.
In absence of not being able to physically be able to visit the North, some music this week has also shown me where else I get strength, which is many of you. So for those that have supported me this week, reached out, and made me smile, especially my Father, and the Bestie, AKA (nicknames to rude to share ;P ) thank you for keeping me in hope.
Song of the week
I chose this song as Tom Odell performed it on Jools Holland last week. Listening to it many times over the last few days, I think it fits the sentiment of the week.